Mysterious Figure

Mysterious Figure
I was happily enjoying my cup of rose red wine, when I heard an ear-piercing CRASH! I went to go check when I realized that a tall, dark figure was circling my wooden hut. I was petrified. It was wearing a raven black cloak, like it had been covered in soot.

It started storming towards me. It was like a fierce, untamed lion stalking its prey. As it got closer and closer to me, it took off its cloak to reveal a furious, vicious soldier. I was able to catch a glimpse of his scarred face. It was so scratched you could almost see the dirty bones, separating each side of his face.

He was dressed as a soldier; his helmet was dripping with blood. His plume was stained fiery red. His sword was as silver as a shiny medal. His eyes were pierced and unflinching and he was glaring at me like I was an animal, ready to be killed. “How dare you leave the fight, you coward!”He shouted with fury.#

A different soldier sprinted towards him and was about to slice him in two bits, when the figure grabbed him by the neck tightly. The soldiers face began to turn as red as fire. He finally let go, gasping for air. He scrambled to his feet then ran back into the chaotic battle. I wanted to run away, but I couldn’t. I was frozen in place, left to be terrified to death by the horrific, scary figure.

3 thoughts on “Mysterious Figure

  1. I liked the way you have used paragraphs effectively. When you use suspense at each end of a paragraph. I also liked the way you used exaggeration at the end of your story . well done Emma.

  2. wow Emma, Really nice work. Is it Hades or Ares. It showed it was one off them the way you said “It started storming towards me. It was like a fierce, untamed lion stalking its prey.” and
    “It took off cloak to reveal a furious, vicious soldier. I was able to catch a glimpse of his scared face. It was so scratched you could almost see the dirty bones, separating each side of his face.”How dare you leave the fight you coward !” he shouted with fury. All of those are personality’s of Ares or Hades the way he shouted and the description off his scared face.

  3. Hi Em,
    GREAT work! I really liked “gasping for air” because it gives you a sense of how powerful and strong the god is. Is the god Ares?

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