Icarus leapt from the mountainous tower and shot down then he
spread his wings and flew. Icarus got the hang of this he glided from
cloud to cloud. Icarus started to boast and seide “I am better then
Apollo” so Apollo struck a light bolt, and his wax started to melt.
suddenly he dropped “aaaaahhhhhhh” splash!!!!!!!!!
I like the use of direct speech here – it makes the tale very vivid and dramatic. We get a powerful pattern of going up and then coming suddenly down – this helps the reader see that the fall is a direct result of his pride. What might he be thinking as he falls?
Well done Maddox – the emotions of the main character come through very clearly in this writing and the shock of his unexpected fall hits the reader at the end. Boast is a great verb to choose to show how Icarus was acting. Well done!
Mrs Grant