Lo: can I show what type of character my god is?
I gazed up from my glass wine; a dark shadow was circling my hut. His feet dragging across the grainy sand, I could hear his rasping breath against the wall. The sound of the wind howling danced into my ears. I scampered to the back of my hut. Slowly the door opened. In floated a figure wearing a raven hooded cloak. His ghostly white face glanced up at me. The figures eyes were two pure black marbles, he had yellow gritted teeth and his damp hair had been cut at. All colour had been drained from his hollow face .In a deep voice he groaned “you have been ungrateful to your leaders and fellow warriors, you will be deprived of all respect in the underworld!” He gasped. “W…Who are you?” I stuttered. Before he could reply, a dark mist filled the hut stripping me of all sight of the man. When the mist finally parted the man had gone and all that was left was a stain on the white marble floor where he‘d been standing.
Wow Jemima,
Is this Greek god Hades?
I love when you described the cloak” raven black” it gives a feel that the figure is dark.
I also like the part when you said rasping breath it shows the character has trouble with breathing and hasn’t had much air.
what the figure said is very effective!
Great work.
Great work Jemima,
I really like how you described the character by saying ” In floated a figure wearing a raven hooded clock. His ghostly white face glanced up at me. The figure eyes were two pure black marbles, he had yellow gritted teeth.”
What effect do these descriptions have on you as the reader?
Well done Jemima
I love the the way you said I could hear his rasping breath against the wall. It really gives you sense of a dark figure.
Is your figure Hades?
Hi jem,
Great work! I like “rasping breath” because it’s a good choice of verb. It goes well in that piece of writing.
Why do you think it goes well with this piece of writing?