LO: Can I retell the ending of a story using noun phrases and accurate verb choice?
They leapt from the edge, as they plummeted down the side of the king’s tower towards the dark blue sea. The wings opened and caught them just an inch before the ground. They darted up, whilst they glided through the warm afternoon air. As Daedalus was flying through the air Icrus was getting the hang of flying he was soaring through the sky Daedalsus was worried about him because he was so high. Icrus said he was better than the sun god Apollo. Apollo was angry at this and started sending sun raise towards the wax on his back. The wax started to melt and all of a sudden he started plummeting towards the black sea. His body was never to be seen again.
The end
Hi Emily,
I like how you used the word ‘plummeted’ as a verb, it shows that Icarus was falling from the sky, but with no control.
Well done!
I love the verb ‘darted’ because it shows a sense of speed.
well done Emily : )
A very energetic style – we see the action in individual bursts (like a comic strip) which is very entertaining. I especially like the way the originally blue sea becomes black as the danger gets closer.
The sense of movement through this piece of writing is really well done. Your choice of verbs and noun phrases helps your reader to picture what the characters are doing. I also really like the way you have contrasted Icarus gliding through the warm afternoon air with his plummeting towards the black sea – great use of preposition phrases here too!
Mrs Grant