Panic raced through Icarus’ mind. He nervously stepped on to the steap, stone ledge and shivered a prayer. Icarus leaped. He plummeted down towards the Aegean sea, until suddenly, the gale force winds caught his wings.
Icarus and Daedalus were both gliding above the calm Agean sea. The cloudless, azure sky blew Icarus’ thick hair. Icarus thought that he was getting the hang of flying, so he decided to rise. Immediatly, Daedalus shouted, “Icarus come down, your wax will melt.” Icarus took this seriously and descended.
Icarus thought that he had mastered flying and climbed once more; Daedalus again screamed, “ Get down Icarus, now!”
Icarus imudently replied, “ Father, do not tell me what to do, I have mastered this, I can fly higher than Apollo, the sun god.” Daedalus was worried… Just in time, Daedalus saw Icarus’ wax melt and bubble… Icarus fell towards the wild, dark Aegean sea. You could see his tattered wings, but Icarus was never to be seen again.
Humza, I like how you said “the gale force winds caught his wings” because “gale force” just tells you how fast he is going down, also I like your word choice of “descended” because its like hes an angel.
I like how you started quickly with ‘Panic’ and this gets the reader stuck in straight away.
I also like the use of ‘wild’ in the final paragraph as it sets the image of a raging sea