Icarus stepped out onto the ledge,his body shook with with fear. with a reassuring look from his father , he slowly stepped out of the window ledge.
Icarus began to fall with trepidation. Icarus’s wings started to unfurl. He started to get higher and higher and he began to weave in the sky. Icarus began to soar higher and higher until you couldn’t see him anymore and until he reached the sun. his father gave an angry look, but Icarus didn’t see because he had got higher and higher than the clouds.
Icarus disobeyed his father Deadelus.
Before long Deadelus could see Icarus coming down like he had never seen him before.
It was too late for Deadelus to do any thing to help Icarus from dying but it was too late.
Deadelus felt so
annoyed that he agreed for Icarus to do such a ridiculous thing Icarus started to come down with the wind slamming on his back and nerves rushing through him. all he could think was ‘’am i going to make it’’ ‘’am i going to make it’’ over and over again he knew he wasn’t though. Deadelus was shouting too him ‘’i love you son’’ Icarus couldn’t really hear him though because of the wind forming hard on him. Deadelus was shaking like anything.
Next Deadelus saw him fall down at the last minute.
He fell.
wings dropping.
Icarus was Never to be seen again.
I really like your short sentences at the end. It really creates tension and leaves the reader with lots of questions.
Thanks Sophia
I like where it said ‘he began to weave in the sky’ I like this because you can tell he is already starting to master the skill flying.
I also like the use of the last four sentences and the effect that they put on the reader.
Well Done!
Thanks Connor
I like how you described Icarus’ fear at the beginning, it really sets the scene for the reader. I also like the atmosphere you made at the end, I like it because it sounds really tense and it paints a brilliant image in the reader’s mind. It is perfect for that point in the story.
Well done Katie! 😉
Thanks Georgia
Katie I like your use of language like ‘trepidation instead of fear ‘weaved’ instead of flew from side to side. I also like your short sentences in the dramatic part because it adds more effect.
Thanks Reece